Cindy’s story
I lied to you before, I lied because the first time I spoke to you there were people around and I couldn’t be completely honest. I lied about my age, I previously said I am fifteen years old but in reality I am sixteen years of age, I have been here for one year and the man who sold me told them I was fourteen. He did this in order to gain more money, for the younger you are and the less used is the more money they will pay for you and the better treatment you will get.
I will not tell you my real name at least I cannot do that now but I wonder if I did, would it make a difference to you? Would the name seem familiar to your ears? Would it trigger some memory? Every night in Jamaica on television Jamaica during the news they have a segment where they show all the missing children, how many people do you think remember the names of the missing girls or even their faces? If they passed them on the streets do you think they would recognise them as someone they saw missing? I doubt it, when you watch the television and see the missing kids or even see them on Facebook you say “oh my, it’s so sad that this child is missing I wonder what happened or I bet she is a runaway, gone with some man or gone to do badness”, some people will share the pictures that maybe a relative uploaded but then you forget them after, you move on with your lives. The lives of a few missing girls do not affect you, it is not your kin, therefore you do not feel the pain and heartache that the missing leaves behind. You do not feel so you do not care and because you do not care, young girls like me will always go missing, we will always be kidnapped and sold and this sex slave trade will always continue.
It is not nice being poor, when you are poor people don’t respect you, they treat you horribly and try to take advantage of you at every turn, being poor is a very expensive thing. The family I was born into were very poor, my parents were both farmers, they planted carrots and escallion and sold it at the Mandeville market. I have three brothers and two sisters and my mother was the only one who took care of us all, for my father is a drunkard who squandered the little money they earned in the various rum bars in our community. I lived in mile gully in Manchester, it was a place where we still used pit toilets and bathed outside, some people didn’t even have electricity and used lamps or candles to see at nights. It was at times very depressing, especially coupled with the fact that we barely had anything to eat, some nights when my father had beaten my mother and taken all of her money we had to boil carrots, eat and immediately go to sleep as my mother often told us that angels fed us when we slept.
My mother sold in the Mandeville market on weekends, my younger siblings oftentimes went with her but, I didn’t because I was too ashamed to admit my mother was a vendor, I didn’t want anyone to see me there. One Saturday after going to the Library, I had spent all my money so I had to go to where my mother sold to get bus fare to go home and that is when I met her, the person who would change my life. She had long flowing hair past her shoulders, chocolate toned skin; she was about five feet four inches and had the most beautiful smile, she was buying produce from my mother, when she saw me she introduced herself as Ariel and told my mother “ she had a lovely daughter” I liked her instantly.
Ariel and I became good friends from that day, we exchanged numbers and we spoke often, when she saw I had a cheap Motorola phone she told me she had an extra phone at home which turned out to be an IPhone 5. she often bought things from my mother and my mother said she admired her immensely for she always carried herself well and often gave my mother large tips for she knew the plight of my family and how much we suffered. She told my mother she lived by herself and she was a teacher at a primary school. She convinced her to let me come over and stay on some weekends as most times she was alone, not having many friends, having just moved to Manchester from Kingston a year ago. I was excited to visit her house, it was a nice apartment with modern amenities, I ate well, watched cable television, used internet and sometimes she took me to the movies with her. I was glad to have found a friend like her and pretty soon I was being allowed to visit her every weekend.
After a couple weekends she told me she had some secrets she wished to divulge that she would appreciate if I kept from my mother that is if I wanted to keep coming to her house. She told me she had lied she was not a teacher; she didn’t own the apartment but her rich boyfriend did and he gave her all the money that she had spending. He gave her a car and whatever she wanted and all she did was to ensure she always looked pretty and have sex with him. I didn’t know what to make of this admission but I decided it wasn’t my business if it didn’t affect our weekend excursions. She said things would change slightly in that, on some weekends she would be visiting his Kingston apartment more often. She said if I wanted to I could accompany her and stay and she would have me back home on Monday as per usual but I shouldn’t let my mother know. I being an adventurous person and only being in Kingston twice before decided that I would go with her as it could be something I could boast to my friends at school about and it would certainly make me popular.
We began to go to Kingston quite often, Ariel’s boyfriend, Ted Salem, was indeed quite rich, we went to the most uptown all-inclusive parties and we always went to the vip section. He bought the most expensive liquors and was all about flossing and exhibiting his wealth, he was really nice to me and didn’t seem to mind that I was underage and was now Ariel’s tag along buddy. I liked the hype and the excitement, I drank the alcohol that was passed on to me, wore the skimpy clothes I was given and danced and partied like a college student. No one questioned my youthfulness or even asked what I was doing there, I was with people who possessed money and in the parties in Kingston money is what talked, with money you could do anything.
Something that seemed weird to me but didn’t seem to bother Ariel was that Ted was not monogamous. We partied with other pretty girls and often times I saw Ted kissing and dancing on them and bringing them home while we went to one of his apartments. She didn’t act jealous or even questioned him about it but chatted with and partied with the girls, she seemed content with being one of his many women as long as she got all the nice things that came with being with him.
I didn’t let it bother me however, for if she didn’t care then why should I? Being her friend had lots of benefits and I revelled in the, at school I was no longer the girl who had to hide in the library at lunch time because I had no money to buy lunch; sometimes Ariel gave me money or sometimes she met me at the school gate with kfc or burger king lunches, I used to thank God the day I met her and she decided to make me her friend.
When I partied in Kingston which was pretty much every weekend after a while, I drank a whole lot, I often times became tipsy but I was never so drunk that I was not aware of what was going on. Ariel told me I could get drunk if I wanted to , that she would protect me and nothing bad would happen but I didn’t want to I didn’t want the feeling of not being in control, thus whenever I felt myself getting lightheaded I would begin drinking water. Ariel said it was an offence to her because I was basically saying I didn’t trust her, I thought that was rather silly; but I told her one day I would drink so much that she would have to throw me over her shoulder to get me out of the party, hearing that she smiled.
One day she and I were in the apartment in Kingston when Ted came over, I decided to go into one of the rooms to give them privacy but he said I could stay and drink and we could watch a movie. He told me that when he was younger he used to be a bartender so he was great at mixing drinks, thus he would make all of our drinks for the night. I began drinking and pretty soon I became lightheaded, I shook my head as I couldn’t understand how one drink could make me feel like I was ready to pass out. I tried to put down my glass and my hands were shaking, I felt like I was in a daze, “I feel as if I have been drugged” I tried to say but no words came from my mouth, I soon fell on the floor. The next morning I woke with such a massive pounding headache that I had to squint to see, I felt awful and something felt wrong with my body, I crawled to the bathroom to pee and soon discovered what it was. There was blood coming from my vagina, I couldn’t understand because my period had been finished the week before, I sat and pondered and then it finally dawned on me. I had been raped and sodomized; my vagina and my bottom were painful and sore. I came out of the bathroom and saw Ariel sitting in the living room “you’re finally up” she smiled, “did you rape me last night? Did you push something inside my butt? What happened?” I began to cry. “Ted wanted you, how could I say no? If I tell him no, I lose all this, I lose everything, you lose everything, no more good food, no more parties, no more
anything, you go back to poverty. However if you stick with me and continue to do what he likes, you can become like me, you can become one of his girls, you get to shop , you get trips, if you are good, you get a car to drive and all you have to do is do whatever he likes, sometimes, it’s not that bad, cause trust me he doesn’t last all that long”
“But I was a virgin Ariel; I had never had sex before”
“So what? At some point in your life, you would have to do it, so why not do it with a very rich man, I cannot understand why you are acting like this, I thought you were a woman, I thought you were mature, guess I was wrong” how could I explain to her that I was saving myself for someone special, I had wanted to give my virginity to Justin Bieber or Chris Brown, someone I could remember with fondness, not some old man who was full of women.
“Why is my butt sore? Why does my butt hurt?” she rolled her eyes
“Ted likes both, he thought it would be cool to take both virginities at once, you should be glad you were drugged, it hurts like hell if you are sober”
“I want to go home, please bring me home” I felt like I wanted to die. She reared up and stood before me, “what will you do? Or what do you think you can do? Do you know how the world works? You are poor, your family is poor, do you think you will finish school and be able to afford a car or a house? You think that is how it goes? Wake up and smell the roses honey, I was once dirt poor but look at me now. I live uptown in one of the most expensive apartments; I drive one of the most expensive cars and wear brand name clothing, all because of the man I choose. You want to know the truth from the day I met you I knew Ted would want you, he likes them young and poor, easier to manipulate, my reward for finding you was I got a new shoe and I got the latest Audi he bought to drive for a month.
Don’t do anything now, think about this, don’t you want to be like me ?if you talk no one will believe you, Ted is a powerful man, he can make you and he can break you and he always get what he wants, so think about this.” I don’t know what I had gotten myself into.
To be continued……
Written and copyrighted by: Aneisha A. Smith
