Chapter 1
She sat on the edge of the flowered bed spread, her hand
resting on her small tummy; she smiled as she thought she felt a slight
movement emanating from within. She wondered when she would begin to show, when
would people realise she was expecting, when would she know what gender it was,
it was all so strange and exciting yet somewhat frightening.
She hadn’t
told him as yet and wondered what his reaction would be, would he be happy? He
had no children yet and he did say he wanted a son. She hoped it would be a
boy, that would please him very much, but it would be nice if it was a girl
too, a perfect replica of her, a tiny mini her that she could mold and dress
up and make happy, wouldn’t that be sweet. What if it were twins? A boy and a
girl, she laughed at herself, her body could not possibly carry twins she was
too slim, it would be too strenuous, but what if he was not pleased what if it
was too soon for them to be in this position, what if he didn’t want children
from her, what if for him it was just sexual pleasure. Her hands dropped into her lap and she begun
to twist them, what if he didn’t like when her breast became enlarged and
engorged with milk and her weight expanded, somehow she thought he had been
attracted to her and had stayed because of her figure, she had a great
personality but she knew that was not what had won him over. Oh dear how could
she tell him, how would she find the strength and courage to do so, everything
depended solely on his reaction. His
reaction would determine whether this was a blessing or a curse.
she really wanted but she had graduated college a year before
with a psychology degree and saw no jobs available for what she was qualified
to do. She had sent in her resume and was called in for an interview, knowing
how downtrodden the economy was and expecting loads of persons like herself to
apply for the job she had dressed in her neatest suit, that fit her brown
skinned complexion to a t, had combed her hair in a ponytail and had tried to
look as business like and professional as possible.
She had not
been very surprised when she went to the office and found twenty girls who had
arrived before her. She was prepared for this but it still made her nervous,
they all looked neat and beautiful and she surmised were probably at the same
educational level as she was or even above.
When her name was called she entered into the office and saw him sitting there in a navy blue cotton shirt and a green tie, at the time she had wondered if he had a child and the child had dressed him that morning. He had beckoned to her and she had sat down, he looked at her and said “miss Amanda Brown I only have one question to ask you, it has been a long morning and I am sure you do realise how many persons want this job, you can tell by the number of persons, you left out there waiting to come in. now miss Brown, see you graduated from the university of the west Indies and you have a psychology degree, so do many others here, I just interviewed a lawyer, so here is the big question, why should I hire you?” she had looked at his curly hair, the picture on his desk of he and his wife, the many papers and books scattered in his office and had tried to come up with an intelligent response, she finally looked into his brown eyes and said “ Mr Sinclair, I know I am supposed to give you and overly intelligent response that is supposed to impress you into believing I am much better than everyone else here and that I am quite enthused to be doing this interview. The truth is I am not going to pretend with you, I left university with high hopes of practicing what I had studied. I want to study people to help fix them and their problems, I did not wish to be an assistant, In fact I was hoping I would be in the position you are today, hiring an assistant to help me to manage my heavy workload. the state of the economy we are in however does not allow this, employment is scarce thus whatever is there we have to rush to get it because we need to eat and have bills to pay, this may not be my ideal job but whatever I do I try to do it to the best of my ability and I
promise you that if you hire me I will be the best and most efficient personal assistant you have ever come across.” She took a deep breath and waited, she expected him to frown at her honesty and tell her thanks for coming in and they would contact her. She had heard this so much in the past weeks she had almost given up hope of being employed, he looked at her, the surprise reflected in his eyes and he smiled, “ Ms Brown, honestly this is what I have been looking for; honesty I am very happy you decided to tell me what is in your mind, you have saved me a morning of tiresome interviews and for that I thank you, you are hired, please be here at work on Monday morning at eight thirty am. I will send you an email of what I wish to be done when you get here and other details .He shook her hand and grinned, she couldn’t believe her luck, she was so overjoyed she could have kissed him, instead she graciously said thank you and gracefully walked out, in the parking lot she danced and would have screamed with joy too if there hadn’t been people standing around looking at her.
Chapter 2
She fit in
perfectly at work, it was a top marketing firm in new Kingston and Mr. Sinclair
was one of the top five marketing managers. She became friends with some of the
assistants and they would sometimes eat lunches and gossip together during the
days. Mr Sinclair found her to be professional and totally efficient and was soon
unable to find a staple without first asking her. His office had gone from papers
littered everywhere and books strewn around to everything being in alphabetical
order, his office became the neatest on the third floor.
Amanda found
Mr Sinclair to be a very handsome man; he was thirty four years old, six feet,
four inches, of light skinned glory. He had short curly hair, brown eyes and
even white teeth, he was not muscular but neither was he skinny, he was middle
weight and because they had become friends she often joked to him that he would
soon have a pouch coming if he didn’t stop eating the pizzas and burgers
without working out. One day he rushed into the office late without shaving and
it almost took her breath away, he looked so rugged and handsome, like someone
from a Calvin Klein commercial, she however knew better than to show him the
effect he had on her. She liked to keep business away from pleasure and figured
mixing both would seriously complicate things, secondly he was married and for
her that was a big no, his wife was a snob who when she visited the office,
turned up her nose at Amanda and ordered her around, having her fetching coffee
and salads as if she was the one who had hired her. Amanda disliked her immensely
and often times contemplated dropping a little spittle in the coffee or pouring
some milk in knowing she was lactose intolerant. She didn’t however and it hurt
her to the bone each time Mrs Sinclair said or did something to belittle her
especially in front of her husband.
It happened
unexpectedly, Paul had landed a big account, he was ecstatic and was walking
around the office grinning like a Cheshire cat, because she had stayed over
nights to help him with the planning and researching he invited Amanda out to
celebrate. “It’s not a major celebration
he said, let’s just go to Devon house and have some ice cream just to thank you
for helping me so much” “ok” she had replied “we can have one ice-cream but no
more, your figure will not like you for it, if you have more than one, nobody
wants a man with a cute face and a beer belly if he isn’t a millionaire” he had
laughed and she had blushed. They went
to Devon house and had ice cream, they laughed and talked like old friends,
afterwards he asked if she wasn’t hungry, on replying yes he took her to a
roadside restaurant where they had jerk chicken and beers, with the alcohol in
her system she looked at him and he looked more handsome that he did before,
she felt a lounging for a man. She had not had intimacy in months and looking at
him she felt it stirring within her loins. He touched her hand to ask if she
was ready to go home and she pulled it away hastily as if she had been slapped,
his touch had caused butterflies to flutter their wings in her tummy. He looked
at her oddly but he said nothing, he held her by her elbow and led her to the
car thinking she had probably had too much to drink.
Chapter 3
She was fumbling to put on her seat belt in the car when he
leaned over grabbed her and began to kiss her hungrily, she wanted to resist
but could not find the will to, she sighed against him, opened her mouth and
let his tongue, roam around inside of her mouth. He tasted of jerk chicken, red
stripe beer and tic tacs, she grabbed his hair and let her fingers roam around in
his curls; it was something she had always wanted to do but didn’t think would
happen. She moaned into his mouth and he clung to her even more, driving his
tongue deeper into her throat, kissing her as if his life depended on it.
“from the
first day I saw you I have wanted to do this” he mumbled, “you tease me so much
every day, I can’t help but to want you” she pulled away from him, she was very
surprised, she didn’t know he had felt like that, he had given no indication.
He looked at her then blurted “I am so sorry if I crossed a line, I am so sorry
but the way u looked at me tonight with all that lust and longing I thought you
felt the same, I thought you wanted me as much as I wanted you” he looked
rejected and hurt , “ I do want you” she
tried to
reassure him , “ I do want you but I
can’t have you, not the way I want to, you are married for Christ sake, how
can we be together if you are, I am not a person who does casual sex, I am not
a one night stand and if you ask me to be that way it means you don’t really
want me, you only want my body”
“no I am not asking you for just sex, I really
want you, I want all of you, you are so innocent yet so full of life so caring
and intelligent, I wish I had met you before, my marriage is so unhappy. I have
a snob for a wife, she doesn’t love me Amanda, she doesn’t love me one bit, she
shuns me, and she prefers to hang out with her society friends than to spend
time with me. I want a divorce but she
will not give it to me, she prefers to see me suffer
knowing how much I despise coming home. You know what she
wants more than anything? A child, I have tried to give her that, but it seems
the devil takes pleasure in taunting me, I have given her three babies and they
have all resulted in miscarriages , the last time she carried to full term but
the baby was born dead, it was a boy, I saw him, I held him, he was so tiny and
so frail, he had my hair, I shook him so hard, I wanted him to be alive , I
wanted my little boy to be alive, but he wasn’t breathing, he wasn’t crying, he
had died within her womb.” He stopped talking and she noticed the tears flowing
down his face, his head dropped into his hands and he wept, she leaned over towards
him and rested his head upon her breast. He sniffled and sat up “I am so sorry,
I don’t know what came over me, I just felt so comfortable talking to you about
this, I have never told anyone of how I felt before , I am glad it’s you.”
“I am glad, it’s me too, I am happy to be your confidante and
that you are comfortable with me “
“Will you be my girlfriend” he asked innocently “will you
make me happy and allow me to make you happy? I will never do anything to hurt
you, I will protect you, I will cherish you and I will love you” she opened her
mouth to answer him, when he put his index finger on her lips, “don’t think
baby” he said “just feel” she nodded.
To be continued.......
written and copyrighted by Aneisha A. Smith December 12, 2015
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